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Thank God For Girls

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weezer
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2017-01-03

  Thank God for Girls - Weezer

  The girl in the pastry shop with the net in her hair

  Is making a cannoli for you to take on your hiking trip

  In the woods with your bros

  that you've known since second grade

  And you may encounter dragons

  or ruffians and be called upon

  To employ your testosterone

  In a battle for supremacy

  and access to females glued to the TV

  And even if you are victorious you may receive many cuts

  Bruises and scrapes

  And you will require band aids and antiseptic ointments

  And tender loving kisses on your stab wounds

  and when you come home

  She will be there waiting for you with a fire in her eyes

  And a big fat cannoli to shove in your mouth

  And that's why you

  Thank God for girls

  Holla Jesu Christe

  From Tennessee to LA

  Thank God for girls

  On your reckoning day

  You better bow down and pray

  She's so big

  She's so strong

  She's so energetic in her sweaty overalls

  Thank God for girls

  Thank God for girls

  Thank God for girls

  I'm so glad I got a girl to think of even though

  She isn't mine

  I think about her all the day

  And all the night it's enough to know that she's alive

  She says I give her sweaty palms

  she almost had a heart attack

  The truth is that I'm just as scared I don't know how to act

  I wish that I could get to know her better

  But meeting up in real life

  would cause the illusion to shatter

  I carved her name into all the trees

  Sang a song down on one knee

  Looking at the underwear page of the Sears catalog like

  When I was 14

  I'm levitating like a magnet turned the wrong way around

  I'm like an Indian Fakir tryna' meditate

  On a bed of nails with my pants pulled down

  Thank God for girls

  Holla Jesu Christe

  From Tennessee to LA

  Thank God for girls

  On your reckoning day

  You better bow down and pray

  She's so big

  She's so strong

  She's so energetic in her sweaty overalls

  Thank God for girls

  Thank God for girls

  Thank God for girls

  God took a rib from Adam

  Ground it up in a centrifuge machine

  Mixed it with cardamom and cloves

  Microwaved it on the popcorn setting

  While Adam was like that really hurts

  Going off into the tundra so pissed at God

  And he started lighting minor forest fires

  Stealing osprey eggs

  Messing with the bees

  who were trying to pollinate the echinacea

  Until God said Ima smite you with loneliness

  And break your heart in two

  And Adam wept and wailed

  Tearing out his hair, falling on his knees

  Looked to the sky and said

  Thank God

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