The Houseplant Song - Audio Adrenaline

　　Once I read a book

　　And this is what it said

　　If your music has a beat

　　Then you're gonna wind up dead

　　It doesn't really matter if it's Christian or not

　　If it's syncopated rhythm then your soul is gonna rot

　　And this book was called Ha Your Gonna Burn

　　And in the second chapter I went on to learn

　　Take two houseplants

　　And put them to the test

　　Set them both in front of speakers

　　And let the music do the rest

　　The first one you play Mozart

　　Or something lovely like that

　　The second one you play that Petra Or that MegaDeth

　　Doesn't really matter what kind of rock it is

　　So I took my two houseplants

　　And I put them to the test

　　Set them both in front of speakers

　　To let the music do the rest

　　I powered up my Pioneers

　　To let the music roar

　　But twenty minutes later

　　Someone's knocking at my door

　　I opened up my door

　　And there my neighbour stood

　　He said Man I'd like to get some sleep

　　If you think I could

　　I said Man can't you see here

　　I've got this moral dilemma that I got to get clear

　　He said What kind of moral dilemma

　　Could you have at this time of night

　　That could make me so angry

　　That I just want to fight

　　So I pointed to the page in that open book

　　That had a picture of a potted plant

　　And I said Go have a look

　　And he read

　　Take two houseplants

　　And put them to the test

　　Set them both in front of speakers

　　And let the music do the rest

　　The first one you play Mozart

　　Or something lovely like that

　　The second one you play that Petra Or that MegaDeth

　　Doesn't really matter what kind of rock it is

　　First of all he said

　　"That's Wagner that you're playing

　　I've never heard of Petra

　　And isn't MegaDeth all dead

　　And secondly emphatically He asked me

　　What's the sense of hanging out with houseplants when hey

　　I live right across the fence

　　And I thought to myself

　　You know that's a good point

　　So I took my two houseplants and

　　I put them both back outside

　　And me and my neighbour

　　Well we went out for a drive

　　We talked about all the things

　　That really matter most

　　Like life and love and happiness

　　And then the Holy Ghost

　　And now my two houseplants

　　They sit out in the sun

　　As for me and my neighbour

　　Well our friendship has become

　　A meaningful relationship

　　That's headed straight to heaven

　　But as for now

　　We like to sit around and listen to Audio Adrenaline

　　Cranked to eleven